Monthly Archives: September 2007
Citate din cartea lui Richard Lederer, Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon Our Language, autor care a facut o selectie de greseli “de limba” comise de vorbitorii nativi ai limbii engleze.
1. Excuse Letters (bilete prin care parintii motiveaza absentele copiilor)
- “My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.”
- “Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.”
- “Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.”
- “Please excuse Pedrofrom being absent yesterday. He had
diahre dyrea direatheshits.”
- “Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.”
- “Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.” (my favourite!)
- “Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.” (second favourite!)
- “Please excuse my son’s tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not find him till I started making the beds.”
- “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.”
- “Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”
- “John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.”
- “Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”
- “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.”
- “Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.”
- “I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.”
- “Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend a funeral.”
- “My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the Marine’s.”
- “Please excuse Fred for being absent. He had a cold and could not breed well.”
- “Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.”
- “Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.”
- “Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.”
2. Holly Bloopers (greseli bisericesti)
- A handsome edition of the Good Book published by Barker and Lucas in 1632 unfortunately omitted the little word not from the Seventh Commandment, making it read, “Thou shall commit adultery.” This edition became famous as the Adulterous Bible.
- In 1716, thousands of copies of another Bible were printed before it was discovered that the command to John, “sin no more”, had been printed as “sin on more”.
- A mix-up in gender in a 1932 version produced the stern admonition “A man may not marry his grandmother’s wife.”, which the New Yorker called Neatest Trick of the Week.
- “The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kin, and they can be seen in the church basement Friday afternoon.”
- “Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct.24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in school days.”
- “This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.”
- “For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”
- “The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing Break Forth Into Joy.”
- “This being Easter Sunda, we will ask Mrs. White to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.”
- “The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.”
- “Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers please meet with the minister in the study.”
- “Wednesda, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Clark will sing Put Me in My Little Bed accompanied by the pastor.”
- “Today- Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m.-8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.”
- “The eight-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.”
- “Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say hell to someone who doesn’t care much about you.”
- On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness: “God is good. Dr. Hargraves is better.”
- “Don’t let worry kill you off- let the church help.”
3. Welfare Bloopers Fare Well (greseli preluate din scrisorile scrise de cetateni care solicitau ajutoare sociale):
- “I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.”
- “In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.”
- “I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.”
- “Unless I get my money soon I will be forced to live an immoral life.”
- “You have changed my little boy into a girl. Will this make any difference?”
- “I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.”
- “I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?”
- “I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?”
- “Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can’t eat or do anything till he knows.”
- “I want my money as quick as I can get it. I’ve been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do me any good. If things don’t improve, I will have to send for another doctor.”
O privire asupra punctului central al Iasului: Piata Unirii (in cadrul campaniei de promovare a Hotelului Unirea, of course, doar nu credeati ca e de pe situl Primariei…ha!)
Propaganda neagra= “identitatea propagandistului nu este publica si este folosita pentru a acoperi actiunile subversive.”
ex: Jowett, Garth S., O’Donnell, Victoria (1992), Propaganda and Persuasion, Sage Publications, Newbury Park.
“Jowett si O’Donnell relatau unul dintre cele mai reusite exemple de propaganda neagra. Ei sustineau ca Radio “Ungaria Libera”, postul considerat in Vest ca fiind vocea rebelilor in timpul revolutiei maghiare din 1956 impotriva Uniunii Sovietice, era, de fapt, condus de KGB:
Pledoariile fervente ale postului Radio “Ungaria Libera” pentru ajutor din partea Statelor Unite au starnit simpatia lumii libere. Atrocitatile sovieticilor erau descris in detalii terifiante, iar rusii erau denuntati si condamnati in fiecare transmisie. Postul era, de fapt, o masinarie perfecta condusa de KGB, cu intentia de a pune Statele Unite intr-o lumina proasta. Era putin probabil ca Statele Unite vor trimite trupe in Ungaria; prin Radio “Europa Libera” (tind sa cred ca e vorba de o greseala de redactare si ca autoarea vroia sa spuna in continuare de “Ungaria Libera” totusi) se sugerase ca americanii ar sustine o revolta populara in Ungaria. Rusia a folosit Radio “Ungaria Libera” pentru a demonstra ca Statele Unite nu reprezinta un aliat de incredere, care sa ajute o tara intr-o situatie de revolta. Radio “Ungaria Libera” a fost atat de eficient, incat serviciile secrete ale Statelor Unite nu au realizat ca este vorba de un instrument de propaganda rusa decat dupa ce si-a incetat emisia.”
Simona- Mirela Miculescu, Relatiile publice din perspectiva internationala, Polirom, 2006
… apropos de care, Editura Polirom are un site nou (in cazul in care nu ati observat).
- Re-naming: Vechii pufuleti se gasesc acum in supermarketuri sub numele de “Cereale extrudate din porumb”.
- Andrei Codrescu si-a gasit in final locul la Biblioteca “Asachi” printre romancierii romani, dupa ce prima data am gasit “Wakefield” pe raftul de “Literatura Americana”.
Daca urasc ceva la “shopping” (in afara de confruntarea cu preturile) e sa joc “v-ati ascunselea” printre rafturi cu vanzatoarea- supraveghetoare.
Este frustrant sa stii ca cineva iti urmareste miscarile, se uita la ce iei de pe raft si se incrunta cand bagi mainile in buzunar (sau, Doamne fereste!, in geanta dupa telefon). Hotarati- va odata: daca nu va place geanta (desi de multe ori ramane la intrare oricum) ori imi spuneti sa o las in dulap, ori ma opriti la usa!
Si mai frustrante sunt magazinele care, pe langa camere de luat vederi au si dulapuri in care iti lasi sacosele, si masinarii de identificare a codurilor de bare si tot vine cineva dupa tine sa-ti urmareasca fiecare pas. Just to make sure, se mai uita si pe geam dupa ce ai iesit din magazin sa vada ce scoti din geanta.